according to my sat prep software, the writing section is important because a good score will help me get into the school of my choice, thus landing me a good job with which i can "crush all the people who laughed at me in high school." i had no idea that standardized tests were so instrumental to revenge plans!
i did my volunteering thing again today, and i think i actually might like it. the woman who was running it today let me help her more, like asking the two girls questions about what they were learning. (for example, when they were doing seasonal vocabulary, i explained the difference between blossoms and flowers and had them tell me which was which in different photographs.) it's hard, because i don't know what words they know or don't know and i have to phrase questions so they can understand what i'm trying to say. however, it's really an interesting process, and it makes me feel purposeful, the way i feel on the rare occasions when i'm juggling all my commitments and extracurriculars efficiently and competently.
i finally registered for the sat subject tests, so i can worry exclusively about the regular sat and ap us test for the next two days and return to worrying about the subject tests after that. everyone keeps telling me about how great i'm going to do on the sat as though it's a forgone conclusion, and it only makes me feel worse. what i like about high school so far is that it's all about potential and the future: everyone's all, "oh, you're so smart, you can go to any college, you can do anything with your life." which is awesome, because it's this big ego trip that requires relatively little effort on my part. however, now we're entering the phase where i have to put my brain where my transcript is and actually produce tangible results, i.e. get into some stupidly prestigious college.
right now i'm way into the idea of brown. i'd more envisioned myself at a small liberal arts college than a real university, but otherwise it's basically everything i want in a college, except for there being any chance in hell of getting admitted. i can already visualize the rejection letter sitting on my kitchen counter.
so, um, you might as well get used to college blathering, because i'm pretty much certain that it's all i'm going to talk about for the next year or so.
i just had a "you know you're a nerd when" moment. the scene: i was collecting the materials necessary for doing my math homework, when i noticed that my calculator was nowhere to be found. panic! i frantically searched through my backpack and the nearby area, and was just starting to freak out in the special way you do whe you think you've lost an expensive piece of electronics when i noticed that my calculator was perched innocently on a stack of cds by the computer.
i hate waking up after i've fallen asleep and realizing that i have to get up and do homework. it's one of the most depressing things ever, although not quite as depressing as getting up in the morning and realizing that my head isn't going to touch that pillow again for another 18 hours or so.